Feb 20, 2017
Who wrote Kraft’s clumsy chat-up lines?
In advising Kraft Heinz to plight its troth to Unilever, Lazard seemingly failed to recognise quite how unwanted those affections were. Unilever's very public rejection of the US group's advances was brutal. "Kraft Heinz has the utmost respect for the culture, strategy and leadership of Unilever," wooed the cheesy orange American, even after all was lost. Close friends of the non-couple confide that Unilever felt the two business models were "Polar opposites" that did not attract. The arrangements gave Lombard flashbacks to equity credit lines at the turn of the century nicknamed "Death spiral loans", which we thought were dead. With these, the more the shares fell, the more financiers made.
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